Candid thoughts and advice from a wealthy one percenter

As recorded by Greg Olson

Note from the author:  The following piece is fictional, the thoughts and advice are from an imaginary character.  Any resemblance to someone living or dead is perhaps not all that surprising.  Hopefully, there is connection to anyone that is both, living and dead.

I was born here in the United States of America.  Being a natural born United States citizen gives me certain rights in accordance with the Constitution of the United States.  Further, our economic and political systems ensure additional rights that are potentially open to all US citizens.  Some consider these rights to be privileges.  However, I not only consider them rights, but duties or obligations that pertain to my specific position in society.   

It is important to consider the main aspect of my position, personal wealth.  There are numerous ways to achieve considerable personal wealth, but what seems to trouble so many detractors is whether or not wealth was earned.  The next complaint by those who would disparage the top echelons of our society is how personal wealth is handled in dealing with people in lesser positions.  With these things in mind, I begin my treatise.

The dollars saved in my off shore bank accounts were earned.  This has allowed me to use my skill in taking advantage of the opportunities presented to me by open and fair markets to increase my wealth the same as anyone else in my position.  I am confident that my fellow political party members in lesser positions will fight and die to keep America safe and my position in society safe, because it is the right thing for them to do.  It is my fervent hope that someday all Americans will know the joy of this patriotic calling.

Again it needs to be restated, all my money was earned.  The people that earned it were confident in my ability to improve the economy as I accumulated their earnings.  This money represents sweat and blood, my friends.  Considering the sacrifice required earning this money, it logical that this money should not be taken from me through immoral taxation based on the value of my accumulation or the quantity of income derived from this accumulation.  No, when I make investments, it isn’t done for the sole purpose of supplying my rightful income; it is to provide jobs commensurate with the societal positions of large numbers of honest hard working, wage earning Americans and their counterparts the world over.

Free market forces for the benefit of the global economy help to ensure low prices for consumer goods that help to keep demand high for those goods.  At the same time the need for production of these goods provides jobs that do not require expensive, high levels of training or education.  It is easy to see how this opens a panacea of opportunity for workers.  Not only do workers benefit from abundant job opportunities; businessmen are able to expand their operations due to reduced costs.  In this way the forces of supply and demand work to benefit the most those people in our society that truly deserve the benefit.

Some people have impugned the efforts of my ancestors.  They have implied that the money my family has provided me was somehow tainted.  They degrade the very foundation of our nation.  As I have already written, someone earned every dollar I own.  Earned, not sucked from society or myself in some give away scheme like welfare that unfairly takes money that is rightfully mine.  Welfare is a scheme that transfers my wealth to someone that could otherwise be a valued, producing member of society or a warrior for democracy and freedom.

 Readers, do you honestly believe that the old, the infirm, or the poor are happy in their positions in life?  Welfare just prolongs their agony.  What we need to do is pull the rug out from under people in these positions so that they can wake up and make the coffee.  From experience I can tell you that my own upstairs maid doesn’t need both her feet to stand on when she makes up the beds and carries the soiled linens to the laundry in the basement level.  Hopping has actually improved her cardiovascular health.  I’m not saying this just because she’s my mother either.  Just think, if I provided insurance benefits for my numerous household staff, she might not have lost that foot and heart disease could have taken the ninety-third birthday from someone who proves their value to society 24/7.

Using this same premise, consider the provision of living quarters for the household staff on my estate.  While this action did provide a well-deserved tax shelter for me, most importantly it provided privately funded housing for low income Americans.  This housing was not constructed in the flamboyant manner of some state or federal public housing development you may have seen in some inner city ghetto.  No, these houses will remind the occupants daily that they should strive continuously to improve their situations in society.  I can tell you, it warms my heart to think of the incentives that I am able to provide to people in lesser positions than myself.

Proper education, like the housing I just described, can be used to help keep our society on track.  The books I sell at a normal and fair profit to my household staff allow them the opportunity to provide moral, parent guided home schooling for their offspring.  The books are especially selected to ensure the children will be ready to take their parents places in the household when their parents pass on.  There isn’t a concern for these children about how they will support their parents in retirement since they know their parents will never be forced to retire.  My staff members can work right up to their last day, happy in the knowledge that they have given it their all. 

These children are not bothered with scientific sex education or birth control.  Heaven forbid they should deprive the work force of additional members.  Believe this, these kids have prayer in school.  In my experience no group is more consistent in their beseeching prayers than workers in my employ.

The principles used in my home are easily applied in business.  Morally and ethically we should not allow ourselves to deprive the people we deal with of the opportunity know their place in society.  It is not my fault if financial position provides me with an advantage in business dealings.  Every opportunity needs to be used to keep me in my position so that I can keep other people from losing their incentive to participate.  Starvation is a friend in this situation.  Being beaten down is not the demoralizing threat some would have you believe.  No, keeping your head down ensures your ability to stay on the right path.

In summation, let us remember a few things: 

1.    If you are wealthy, it was meant to be and you can’t help that and you certainly can’t help anyone if you are poor.

2.    Low wages and Spartan working conditions keep business costs down so that profits are not bled away in a manner that would force workers to think they have a higher value or position in life.  Low wages equals more jobs.

3.    High wages rob workers of their incentive to work.  High wages equal fewer jobs.  Look at me, how many people could society pay the amount that I make in a year?

4.    Men and, especially, women cannot be trusted to make moral decisions regarding their own health.  We must not get caught in the trap of providing health benefits for anyone and risk the possibility that people lose their fear of getting sick.  Choices are not good for little people.

5.    When a worker gets sick and dies, the gene pool is strengthened.  This is especially true in the case of younger workers of pre-child bearing age.  Death is society’s future fitness program and it helps to relieve over crowding.

6.    Sex education and birth control make the military recruiter’s job more difficult and it is detrimental to work force numbers.

7.    People in lower positions are in those positions in order to keep their betters on top and they are willing to do this because it is the morally correct thing for them to do. 

8.    Vote Republican.

We care about one another in South Dakota

Many people in the state of South Dakota are concerned with the health and welfare of their friends and neighbors. This concern is outwardly evidenced by posted signs, verbal admonitions, and governmental ordinances or laws. This does not imply that South Dakotans are the only people concerned with the health and welfare of their fellow human beings; of course not. However, as a resident of South Dakota, I am more familiar with local social conditions within my home state as opposed to the social concerns of people in the other forty-nine states. So while addressing this topic, take note that the observations expressed here may not pertain to other localities or other people.

The order or organization of this writing does not imply any specific priority or importance to the examples used, and the descriptions are subject to the personal interpretation of the writer. Consequently, the reader may assign priorities and disagree with the writer with all due freedom, the writer does not ask that anyone adopt his views, nor does the writer intend to coerce changes of opinion. The reader is fully responsible for any alteration of their own opinion after reading what is written here.

When visitors and residents drive South Dakota highways, they may notice posted road signs that show how concerned we are here for the health and welfare of others. Who hasn’t at least noticed a sign informing the viewer that they should buckle up? Of course, to avoid confusion, the buckle referred to is many times visually depicted by the figure of a person safely secured by a modern day vehicle seat belt.

Another frequently viewed road sign is intended to inform drivers that they are required to change driving lanes, if necessary, to give a wide berth to emergency vehicles stopped along side the road. A similar reminder not to litter can also be seen in numerous places around this state and not just along the roads and highways.

Operators of vehicles with dynamic braking systems may have noticed that South Dakotans are concerned with preserving peace and low noise levels in specified urban areas. We, apparently, believe that town and city dwellers need quiet places to be lulled to sleep by the normal sounds of tire engine noise.

We are also concerned with unlicensed weaponry. This type of item is not welcome in our schools, court houses, or shopping establishments. However, we like to have them close at hand everywhere else, just in case we are called upon to dispense a little self defensive or public protective justice. Rather than risk an inappropriate impression, let it be known that the author owns a permit to carry a concealed weapon, although the permit is now expired. The expiration of that card does not change the gun ownership or gun carrying views of the holder, however.

Smoking here is less socially popular than it once was. Smokers can still smoke, but restrictions to that form of consumption apply to more places than ever before, thanks to South Dakota law. Drinking of alcoholic beverages is also restricted, but we are more used to that, so people don’t resist it quite as much as we once did. We are also required to wear clothes in most places, although the definition of what constitutes cloths changes with the time of year, the municipality, and depending on which group is enjoying a rally in the state.

Recently, we have become concerned with cell phone use as it applies to people operating motor vehicles on public roads. Most of us seem to agree that texting with a cell phone while driving, is at least somewhat distracting enough that it may interfere with safe operation of the vehicle. We are concerned enough to be working on passing legislation that would ban the practice of texting while driving. It is not clear to this author if that also applies to reading text on a cell phone since it appears that the legislation will stop short of making it illegal to talk on a cell phone while driving. Dialing a phone number apparently will be okay too, so there are some things that need to be worked out with regard to cell phone use by drivers in South Dakota.

Without trying to start any argument, it is noted here that we South Dakotans are particularly interested in the health and well being of human females. Very specifically, we are concerned about their sexual activities and their procreative activities. With regard to male human beings and the same specific activities, we are concerned not so much. The level of concern we express and relating to their activities is the same for humans of the same sex who participate or would like to participate in the activities just mentioned. Our current laws and numerous proposed laws reflect this tendency toward the concern for others.

We are also concerned with health care insurance. If you have health insurance, then that is an example of part of the greatest health care system on the planet, regardless of what it costs. If you don’t have health insurance, then it probably means that you don’t deserve it and you should go live in another country. We believe this so vehemently that we have joined in a lawsuit against the federal government that has attempted to create a system that costs less, insures more people, and has the audacity to require everyone that benefits by the health system to pay into it, if they can. Obviously, that is a good plan for a national park system or a plan to improve upon public schools, but it is government intrusion into my right to go bankrupt from medical bills that exceed my ability to pay. What we South Dakotans demand in a health care reform bill is that it keep insurance and drug companies in business and able to adequately fund Congressional campaigns.

In a February 10, 2011 letter from the U.S. Congressional Representative from South Dakota she wrote that she supports a “plan that covers people with pre-existing conditions, allows those under the age of 26 to stay on their parent's policy, and permits small businesses to pool together to purchase health insurance at a lower cost. . .” It appears as though all of those things are included in the legislation she just voted to repeal, however, that is just an example of how people who have actually read the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act are trying to confuse the issue with facts. In South Dakota, we care enough about you to keep you safe from having to accept affordable health care insurance provided by the federal government. We leave this sad and arduous duty of accepting government health care insurance to people like U.S. Representative Noem.

We like education. We like it cheap. We like the reading, writing, and arithmetic, but we’re not completely sure that they are necessary beyond the eighth grade. We like education best from first through the eighth grades and require by law that much public education for our children. For the time being at least, we will continue to publicly educate our children at the expense of the taxpayers through the twelfth grade. We do not require any specific level of education or evidence of measurable intelligence for voters or our elected officials.

This list of concerns for others could go on and on, but that would not serve the purpose of the writer. This writer has an agenda. There is a concern for others that is not being properly addressed in South Dakota. Some people are unaware that it is being blown over and ignored as if it were unimportant. When are we going to wake up and realize the degree to which ear bud application is continually, albeit perhaps unintentionally, abused?

Notice if you will the markings on the ear buds that you may have in your own home. If you don’t have a set, check with a neighbor, their children may have several sets. There is a left and right ear bud, usually denoted by the letters L and R. How many times have the users of ear buds, installed those buds in their ears, without observing the associated markings and, thereby, improperly inserted the L bud in their right ear and vice versa? South Dakota Representative Hal Wick, where are you? If you aren’t too busy ensuring that all South Dakotans are adequately armed, please seek out your fellow legislator, Representative Roger Hunt, from wherever he is researching more, all important, vagina legislation. Certainly, together, the two of you can draft some meaningful legislation to purge this insidious threat to the health and well being of current and future generations of innocent South Dakotans.